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jeune magique et intellig

为了孩子 父母需要从他们的词汇中删除这些常见的短语

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Slide 1 of 61: Erase these common phrases from your vocabulary.


Slide 2 of 61: It's tempting to want to help your child through something tough, but they need time to learn on their own. Automatically taking the reins isn't going to help them learn. Dr. Tovah Klein,  Director of the Barnard Center for Toddler Development and author of How Toddlers Thrive, says, "It gives a clear message to the child of 'I can't do this, only the grown-ups know how to do it. It actually works against [building] confidence."

想要帮助孩子处理艰难的事情是很诱人的,但他们需要时间自己学习。自动取缰绳是不会帮助他们学习。巴纳德幼儿发展中心主任兼“幼儿如何茁壮成长”(How Toddlers Thrive)的作者(Tovah Klein)说道(says):“它向孩子传达了一个明确的信息:'我不能这样做,只有成年人知道如何去做。这实际上不利于[建立]信心。”

Slide 4 of 61: Going through some hard financial times? Do you best not to let the kids in on it. Dr. Brad Klontz, a clinical psychologist and author of the book Mind Over Money, told CBS News, "Don't give them TMFI: too much financial information. We can't involve them in things they're powerless to do anything about. Laying that load on a child makes her anxious."

经历一些艰难的金融时代? 你最好不要让孩子们参与其中。 临床心理学家,Mind Over Money一书的作者布拉德·克朗茨(Brad Klontz)博士告诉CBS新闻(CBS News),“不要给他们TMFI:太多的财务信息。我们不能让他们参与他们无能为力的事情。 把负担放在孩子身上让他们很焦虑。”

Slide 5 of 61: In general, you should avoid using words like "always" and "never" when speaking to your child, because it can make them think they're hopeless. "[Adults] love to rattle off quips like you'll never, you won't, you can't, you always," says Daniel Patterson, author of The Assertive Parent and founder of the Patterson Perspective." [But] statements like these place children in a box of negativity or permanence-suggesting that they are always a certain way, and incapable or unexpected to improve." Patterson adds that using the word "never" gives your child permission to never change, which isn't what you want.

一般来说,在与孩子说话时,你应该避免使用“永远”和“从不”这样的词语,因为这会使他们认为自己没有希望。“[成年人]喜欢吵闹,就像你永远不会,你不会,你不能,”“自信的父母”的作者,帕特森透视的创始人丹尼尔·帕特森说(says Daniel Patterson)。“[但]这些陈述将儿童置于一个消极或永久的盒子中 - 暗示他们只能走某种方式,并且无法改善。”帕特森补充说,使用“never”这个词可以让你的孩子永远不会改变,这不是你想要的。

Slide 8 of 61: Of course, parents want their children to have big goals, and you want to encourage them in those aspirations. But at the same time, it's not always smart to tell them they can be anything they want. As the Washington Post points out, studies have shown that going after overly-ambitious goals can be harmful, with significant negative side effects, like unethical behavior. Psychologist Erica Reishcher wrote, "Telling kids that they can do anything-whether fueled by imagination or hard work-obscures the critical role of chance in success. Not every child who wants to be a surgeon or sports star can become one, even if they work hard at it. At the same time, in every success story there is the grace of good fortune. As Nobel Laureate Daniel Kahneman puts it: 'Success = Talent + Luck. Great success = A little more talent + A Lot of Luck.'"

当然,父母希望他们的孩子有很大的目标,而你希望在这些愿望中鼓励他们。 但与此同时,告诉他们他们可以成为他们想要并不总是聪明的。正如“华盛顿邮报”(Washington Post )所指出的那样,研究表明,追求过于雄心勃勃的目标可能是有害的,具有显着的负面影响,如不道德的行为。并非每个想成为外科医生或体育明星的孩子都能如愿以偿,即使他们努力工作也是如此。

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